Monster Island (actually a peninsula)*

Pearls of witticism from 'Bo the Blogger: Kushibo's Korea blog... Kushibo-e Kibun... Now with Less kimchi, more nunchi. Random thoughts and commentary (and indiscernibly opaque humor) about selected social, political, economic, and health-related issues of the day affecting "foreans," Koreans, Korea and East Asia, along with the US, especially Hawaii, Orange County and the rest of California, plus anything else that is deemed worthy of discussion. Forza Corea!

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Trader Joe's, I hate you

It's one thing to not have stores in Hawaii, but it's a whole 'nother thing to rub it in with sarcastic directions.

In case you can't read #10 there, it says, "Kayak across the Pacific Ocean (2,756 miles)."

Clever, but mean. Although I do have a kayak.

Incidentally, if they ever opened up a store in Korea (say, after the FTA goes into effect), I think it would do swimmingly.

4 comments:

LastnameKimTuesday, June 28, 2011 2:00:00 AM
Ok....again, I may be gullible, but is this real?
Also, just wondering why Google didn't instruct you to kayak to southern California...wouldn't that be quicker than Washington? And you'd expect TJ's to be in Hawaii since all of their employees wear Hawaiian shirts.
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kushiboTuesday, June 28, 2011 9:50:00 AM
LastnameKim, I assure you that it's real, although with some of the "crap I make up," I can understand your skepticism. Go to the Trader Joe's website and use address 3254 Waialae Avenue, Honolulu, 96816 as a starting point, and then choose the one in Daly City, California. (I tried to make a link, but it won't let me do that.)

Frankly, I don't know why they insist on having us kayak to Washington State. Sure, it's pretty, but it's just that much farther. Frankly, I think they're just being cruel.

And you're right about the Hawaiian shirts... what gives?! Maybe they got them from Hawaiian Gardens.
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AnonymousTuesday, August 02, 2011 2:29:00 AM
With the ocean currents it is actually quicker to kayak to Washington. It probably saved me 4 days of paddling.
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kushiboTuesday, August 02, 2011 3:05:00 AM
Ha ha! Thanks for the tip, Anonymous.

And kudos to Trader Joe's for being that detailed with their directions suggestions.
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Ask Kushibo.

My Google/Blogspot data shows that a lot of the 2 million people who have landed on my site (yes, that's the real number) are looking for cultural information on Korea (e.g., “When did Syngman Rhee die?” “What did the Indians bring to the first Chusŏk?’ etc., etc.), as well as practical or historical stuff.

That got me thinking that, hey, I have a master’s degree in Korean studies and a minor in Japanese studies, I’ve lived in Seoul far longer than most foreans my age (whether they're kyopo or non-kyopo), I teach introductory courses on Korea and its cultural trappings and history, so why not offer a free service where I attempt to answer people’s questions, point them in the direction of where they can get them answered, and/or offer my regulars (that’s you!) a chance to take a stab at some of this stuff, too.

So if there’s something you’d like to know from a “contrarian scourge,” click on ASK KUSHIBO and just ask a succinct question in the comments section below.

Oh, and play nice. Please don’t make me regret this.

九十五大怪獣란? 쿠시보의 몬스터 아일랜드란?

Pearls of witticism from 'Bo the Blogger: Kushibo's Korea blog... Kushibo-e Kibun...
Now with Less kimchi, more nunchi. Random thoughts and commentary (and indiscernibly opaque humor) about selected social, political, economic, and health-related issues of the day affecting "foreans" ("foreigners" in Korea be they kyopo or non-kyopo), Koreans, Korea and East Asia, along with the US, especially Hawaii, Orange County, and the rest of California, plus anything else that is deemed worthy of discussion. Forza Corea!

* Monster Island (actually a peninsula)

The name of this blog comes from a line in "Lisa on Ice," a beloved episode of The Simpsons, perhaps my all-time favorite television show (even though for several seasons there, it really did suck). Lisa is imagining being sworn in as president, but at the last minute, it is discovered that she failed P.E. (physical education) and she is thus "sentenced to a lifetime of horror" on Monster Island. "Don't worry," the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court confides in her, "It's just a name."

Fast forward to Lisa and other prisoners running in panic through a tropical jungle, chased by Godzilla-like creatures, including a monster turtle and a monster firefly.

"He said it was just a name!" Lisa screams to the man next to her. While he, too, runs for his life, the unidentified man calmly says, "What he meant is that Monster Island is actually a peninsula."

Anyway, I thought in some ways that punchline summed up modern-day Korea in a nutshell. For many people—foreigners and Koreans—the ups and downs and everyday travails of the Republic of Korea make it as precarious as a Monster Island would be (and with the DMZ being the only land border, it really is like an island). But it actually is a peninsula. Okay, it made sense in my head.

So as you can see, despite the hits I get from people looking for Japanese tentacle porn, it has nothing to do with anything salacious as that.