Monster Island (actually a peninsula)*

Pearls of witticism from 'Bo the Blogger: Kushibo's Korea blog... Kushibo-e Kibun... Now with Less kimchi, more nunchi. Random thoughts and commentary (and indiscernibly opaque humor) about selected social, political, economic, and health-related issues of the day affecting "foreans," Koreans, Korea and East Asia, along with the US, especially Hawaii, Orange County and the rest of California, plus anything else that is deemed worthy of discussion. Forza Corea!

Friday, January 21, 2011

Dear Kushibo

Ah, what's in today's mail bag?

Dear Kushibo,

I like making my girlfriend dress up as characters I've seen in various anime, and lately I've been having her wear those "circle lenses" contact lenses that make her eyes look really, really, really big (and very much like the anime characters I've come to love).

I'm wondering, though, if this will lead to any long-term vision problems for her. And if so, will it happen sooner or later? I'm not sure how long I'll keep dating her, so if it's later rather than sooner, then it's not really a big deal.

Signed,
Avid Anime Aficionado

- + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + -

Dear Avid,

She'll go blind.

3 comments:

AnonymousWednesday, December 14, 2011 5:17:00 AM
wow if she will have vision problems and you dont give a shit if youre no longer dating her you are one huge asshole
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AnonymousTuesday, February 28, 2012 8:37:00 PM
You are a total douche. "I like MAKING my girlfriend dress up" You make her do it for your own enjoyment and you don't give a flying flip about her personal safety even if you guys stopped dating, I would think you'd care about her as a human being and not want her to get permanent eye damage from the contact lenses you MAKE her wear to please YOU.
"I'm not sure how long I'll keep dating her, so if it's later rather than sooner, then it's not really a big deal." = I don't really care about her, I just use her for my own enjoyment right now and later I might get bored of her, so hopefully if she gets eye damage it'll be after we stop dating so I don't have to worry about dealing with a blind girl.
You don't deserve to date ANYONE you self serving pig.
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AnonymousSunday, May 13, 2012 1:33:00 PM
you're a major dick. that's like raping her eyes.
ReplyDelete
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Ask Kushibo.

My Google/Blogspot data shows that a lot of the 2 million people who have landed on my site (yes, that's the real number) are looking for cultural information on Korea (e.g., “When did Syngman Rhee die?” “What did the Indians bring to the first Chusŏk?’ etc., etc.), as well as practical or historical stuff.

That got me thinking that, hey, I have a master’s degree in Korean studies and a minor in Japanese studies, I’ve lived in Seoul far longer than most foreans my age (whether they're kyopo or non-kyopo), I teach introductory courses on Korea and its cultural trappings and history, so why not offer a free service where I attempt to answer people’s questions, point them in the direction of where they can get them answered, and/or offer my regulars (that’s you!) a chance to take a stab at some of this stuff, too.

So if there’s something you’d like to know from a “contrarian scourge,” click on ASK KUSHIBO and just ask a succinct question in the comments section below.

Oh, and play nice. Please don’t make me regret this.

九十五大怪獣란? 쿠시보의 몬스터 아일랜드란?

Pearls of witticism from 'Bo the Blogger: Kushibo's Korea blog... Kushibo-e Kibun...
Now with Less kimchi, more nunchi. Random thoughts and commentary (and indiscernibly opaque humor) about selected social, political, economic, and health-related issues of the day affecting "foreans" ("foreigners" in Korea be they kyopo or non-kyopo), Koreans, Korea and East Asia, along with the US, especially Hawaii, Orange County, and the rest of California, plus anything else that is deemed worthy of discussion. Forza Corea!

* Monster Island (actually a peninsula)

The name of this blog comes from a line in "Lisa on Ice," a beloved episode of The Simpsons, perhaps my all-time favorite television show (even though for several seasons there, it really did suck). Lisa is imagining being sworn in as president, but at the last minute, it is discovered that she failed P.E. (physical education) and she is thus "sentenced to a lifetime of horror" on Monster Island. "Don't worry," the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court confides in her, "It's just a name."

Fast forward to Lisa and other prisoners running in panic through a tropical jungle, chased by Godzilla-like creatures, including a monster turtle and a monster firefly.

"He said it was just a name!" Lisa screams to the man next to her. While he, too, runs for his life, the unidentified man calmly says, "What he meant is that Monster Island is actually a peninsula."

Anyway, I thought in some ways that punchline summed up modern-day Korea in a nutshell. For many people—foreigners and Koreans—the ups and downs and everyday travails of the Republic of Korea make it as precarious as a Monster Island would be (and with the DMZ being the only land border, it really is like an island). But it actually is a peninsula. Okay, it made sense in my head.

So as you can see, despite the hits I get from people looking for Japanese tentacle porn, it has nothing to do with anything salacious as that.