Monster Island (actually a peninsula)*

Pearls of witticism from 'Bo the Blogger: Kushibo's Korea blog... Kushibo-e Kibun... Now with Less kimchi, more nunchi. Random thoughts and commentary (and indiscernibly opaque humor) about selected social, political, economic, and health-related issues of the day affecting "foreans," Koreans, Korea and East Asia, along with the US, especially Hawaii, Orange County and the rest of California, plus anything else that is deemed worthy of discussion. Forza Corea!

Friday, November 26, 2010

Glorious Dear Leader and Brilliant Comrade Thought Bubble Contest #1

Here's the picture. It's from Yonhap (duh!) and — that look! — it's just screaming for its own thought bubble captions.

So I added some thought bubble space and started imagining what was going through Kim Jong-il's head.

There are hundreds of ideas.

Now it's your turn. Have at it. Email them to me if you think they're worthy of Monster Island (and remember: we have no standards).

They couldn't be any worse than these.

Okay. I'll stop now.

Okay, now.

UPDATE:
I just can't help myself.

Actually, I'm assuming genital warts are countable nouns. Anyone able to offer any insight on that? If not, I'll have to change it to herpes sores, but that just doesn't pack the same punch.

At the risk of dictating what's funny, this one has a good payoff if you know the references.

As you may have already guessed, good taste is not a factor in this contest. This one confirms it.

This, is an homage.

5 comments:

JeremySaturday, November 27, 2010 8:25:00 AM
"Oh, no, what have I done?"

KJI does look like a disappointed father here.
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theresaSaturday, November 27, 2010 9:00:00 AM
that's a great photo. i think quoting dr. evil from Austin Powers would fit in here somehow...
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kushiboFriday, May 20, 2011 11:11:00 AM
Theresa, go for it.
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AlecTuesday, July 24, 2012 7:26:00 AM
"I shouldn't have given him the keys to the Juche Biscuit Factoly".

~alec
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AnonymousFriday, March 15, 2013 9:24:00 PM
"Jim Belushi will play him in the movie and Billy Crystal will play me."
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Share your thoughts, but please be kind and respectful. My mom reads this blog.

Ask Kushibo.

My Google/Blogspot data shows that a lot of the 2 million people who have landed on my site (yes, that's the real number) are looking for cultural information on Korea (e.g., “When did Syngman Rhee die?” “What did the Indians bring to the first Chusŏk?’ etc., etc.), as well as practical or historical stuff.

That got me thinking that, hey, I have a master’s degree in Korean studies and a minor in Japanese studies, I’ve lived in Seoul far longer than most foreans my age (whether they're kyopo or non-kyopo), I teach introductory courses on Korea and its cultural trappings and history, so why not offer a free service where I attempt to answer people’s questions, point them in the direction of where they can get them answered, and/or offer my regulars (that’s you!) a chance to take a stab at some of this stuff, too.

So if there’s something you’d like to know from a “contrarian scourge,” click on ASK KUSHIBO and just ask a succinct question in the comments section below.

Oh, and play nice. Please don’t make me regret this.

九十五大怪獣란? 쿠시보의 몬스터 아일랜드란?

Pearls of witticism from 'Bo the Blogger: Kushibo's Korea blog... Kushibo-e Kibun...
Now with Less kimchi, more nunchi. Random thoughts and commentary (and indiscernibly opaque humor) about selected social, political, economic, and health-related issues of the day affecting "foreans" ("foreigners" in Korea be they kyopo or non-kyopo), Koreans, Korea and East Asia, along with the US, especially Hawaii, Orange County, and the rest of California, plus anything else that is deemed worthy of discussion. Forza Corea!

* Monster Island (actually a peninsula)

The name of this blog comes from a line in "Lisa on Ice," a beloved episode of The Simpsons, perhaps my all-time favorite television show (even though for several seasons there, it really did suck). Lisa is imagining being sworn in as president, but at the last minute, it is discovered that she failed P.E. (physical education) and she is thus "sentenced to a lifetime of horror" on Monster Island. "Don't worry," the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court confides in her, "It's just a name."

Fast forward to Lisa and other prisoners running in panic through a tropical jungle, chased by Godzilla-like creatures, including a monster turtle and a monster firefly.

"He said it was just a name!" Lisa screams to the man next to her. While he, too, runs for his life, the unidentified man calmly says, "What he meant is that Monster Island is actually a peninsula."

Anyway, I thought in some ways that punchline summed up modern-day Korea in a nutshell. For many people—foreigners and Koreans—the ups and downs and everyday travails of the Republic of Korea make it as precarious as a Monster Island would be (and with the DMZ being the only land border, it really is like an island). But it actually is a peninsula. Okay, it made sense in my head.

So as you can see, despite the hits I get from people looking for Japanese tentacle porn, it has nothing to do with anything salacious as that.