The son and the stars:KCNA on Kim Jong-un's promotion to general

Young people celebrate the military promotions of the Kims, 
according to the KCNA. Seriously. [source]

For those of you who like to get your North Korea news straight from the horse's mouthpiece itself, here is the KCNA announcement of Brilliant Comrade Kim Jong-un's (김정은) promotion to four-star general, along with that of Kim Jong-il's sister, Kim Kyŏnghŭi (김경희), and KJI's BFF, Chae Ryonghae (최룡해, choé ryonghae):

Kim Jong Il Issues Order on Promoting Military Ranks

Pyongyang, September 27 (KCNA) -- General Secretary Kim Jong Il on Monday issued Order No. 0051 on promoting the military ranks of commanding officers of the KPA.

He said in his order that all the servicepersons of the People's Army and people are now significantly celebrating the 65th anniversary of the founding of the Workers' Party of Korea with unbounded reverence for President Kim Il Sung who made a new history of building a revolutionary party in the era of independence and strengthened and developed the WPK into vanguard ranks of revolution with high prestige and invincible might.

He stressed that the WPK born from the deep and strong roots struck in the anti-Japanese revolution has honorably discharged its mission and duty as a political staff of the Korean revolution since the very day of its founding and performed immortal exploits to shine long in the history of the country.

The KPA is demonstrating its might before the world as a powerful revolutionary army of Mt. Paektu after growing to be a strong army of the leader and the party, devotedly defending the headquarters of the revolution with arms and performing heroic feats to shine long in history in the defence of the country and building of a thriving socialist nation, he noted.

Expressing the firm belief that the commanding officers of the KPA who have grown up under the care of the party and the leader would creditably discharge their honorable missions and duties as the mainstay and main force of the revolution in accomplishing with arms the revolutionary cause of Juche which started in Mt. Paektu, remaining true to the Party's leadership in the future, too, he issued an order on promoting the military ranks of KPA commanding officers on the occasion of the 65th anniversary of the glorious Workers' Party of Korea.

General Kim Kyŏnghŭi.
Not Kim Jong-il in drag.
No such jokes, please.
Thank you.
[source]

It is noted in the order that the military ranks of Kim Kyong Hui, Kim Jong Un and Choe Ryong Hae and three others are promoted to general, the military rank of Ryu Kyong to colonel general, the military ranks of Ro Hung Se and Ri Tu Song and four others to lieutenant general and those of Jo Kyong Jun, Jang To Yong and Mun Jong Chol and 24 others to major general.

And here it is in Chosŏnŏ.

In case you missed it, the succinct little announcement about KJU is buried there in the bottom paragraph. It occurred to me that the KCNA spills so little ink about such things, compared to the Western media, because they sorta do know what's going on up in Pyongyang and that means they don't have to fill column-inch after column-inch with speculation to obscure the fact that they don't really have any clue about anything until after it's announced and in the meantime they're all just parroting each other's approved and parroting-reinforced speculations. (Yeah, like I'm not guilty as well, except for the parroting part.)

(Also, the KCNA also doesn't need to print things like this, a Wall Street Journal guide to the Kim family tree, because to do so could be life-threatening.)

But then where would we be if the DPRK just laid everything out in front of us? Pyongyang kremlinology and North Korea watching would be far less interesting.