Carter waiting around for Kim Jong-il to come back

Apparently, our thirty-ninth president is doing the political equivalent of waiting around his smitten's porch, hoping to get a kiss goodnight after she gets home from a late night out with her friends and God knows who else.

Jimmy, you can't compete with Big Brother China, so don't even try. I hate to think what you might offer up out of desperation.

That's not a high-five. She was trying to slap your forehead.
Just be thankful rampant malnutrition has rendered 
that eighteen-year-old waif too short to reach. 

While we're at it, I just want to point out how fitting it is that someone initialed "JC" is off saving someone who himself my have a Jesus complex (well, that epithet is more fitting for the messiah-wannabe Robert Park, but Jimmy Carter didn't go and save RP, did he?).