Monster Island (actually a peninsula)*

Pearls of witticism from 'Bo the Blogger: Kushibo's Korea blog... Kushibo-e Kibun... Now with Less kimchi, more nunchi. Random thoughts and commentary (and indiscernibly opaque humor) about selected social, political, economic, and health-related issues of the day affecting "foreans," Koreans, Korea and East Asia, along with the US, especially Hawaii, Orange County and the rest of California, plus anything else that is deemed worthy of discussion. Forza Corea!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

And speaking of Kim Jong-un...

Fresh off the latest news of the Brilliant Comrade's unceasing rise to the top of the ash heap of history, it looks like Yonhap has released another picture of someone who they think is Kim Jong-un.

The below picture at least is believed to be Kim Jong-un when he attended the International School of Berne in Switzerland, while the girl at right is Kim Yojong, his sister, who attended public school (like a good socialist) in Switzerland.

The existence of yet another offspring throws a further monkey into the transition works (unless Yojong is actually that son of KJI's they were saying he thought was too feminine). So in addition to the Exuberant Progeny, there is yet another contender/pretender to the Kim Dynasty throne which we shall have to...

... Holy shit! I can't go on... Do you see that thing on her neck?! Whiskey Tango Fu¢k! What the frackety fu¢k is that? Is she a Maori chieftess or something? Seriously, did the they attach the head of Kim Yojong to the body of some other girl, or vice-versa? Is defense against the choking arts something the Kim children are all taught in some after-school program?

Good God! Frickin' Addams Family all up in there.

Anyway, using a carefully crafted algorithm that takes this new photographic evidence, ages it according to normal growth patterns that account for diet, genetic background, environment, and the phenotype of one's siblings, I'm fairly certain that this is what Kim Jong-un looks like as an adult:

Rick Hoffman, under-employed actor best known as Bernie Mac's agent in The Bernie Mac Show. It's the perfect cover.

Kim Yojong, of course, is actually Margaret Cho.

4 comments:

AnonymousWednesday, June 09, 2010 5:58:00 PM
Did they ever nip [1] across the Austrian border for a bite to eat?

http://hurryupharry.org/2010/03/11/totalitarian-cuisine/

[1] Not an intentional choice of word, I assure you.
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LastnameKimThursday, June 10, 2010 2:39:00 AM
Jong Un looks a lot like his grandfather in this pic...and of course Yo Jong looks a lot like her permed hair father. I can't imagine her getting a rolly blade tattoo on her neck. Maybe it's just a very close-to-the-skin necklace.
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kushiboThursday, June 10, 2010 2:44:00 AM
No, LastnameKim, I refuse to accept any interpretation other than she's Franken-scion.

And I agree that I can see Kim Ilsung's features a bit in Kim Jong-un's picture, but I don't think they look that similar. KIS was quite a handsome dude, and KJU looks a tad awkward and goofy.
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John from DaejeonThursday, June 10, 2010 10:03:00 PM
kushibo,

A couple of things you might find interesting. Some North Korean soldiers are actually hoping for war to take their minds off their crushing misery and a bit of Flu Fiction if you care to catch the latest episode (Season 8, ep. 10).
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Ask Kushibo.

My Google/Blogspot data shows that a lot of the 2 million people who have landed on my site (yes, that's the real number) are looking for cultural information on Korea (e.g., “When did Syngman Rhee die?” “What did the Indians bring to the first Chusŏk?’ etc., etc.), as well as practical or historical stuff.

That got me thinking that, hey, I have a master’s degree in Korean studies and a minor in Japanese studies, I’ve lived in Seoul far longer than most foreans my age (whether they're kyopo or non-kyopo), I teach introductory courses on Korea and its cultural trappings and history, so why not offer a free service where I attempt to answer people’s questions, point them in the direction of where they can get them answered, and/or offer my regulars (that’s you!) a chance to take a stab at some of this stuff, too.

So if there’s something you’d like to know from a “contrarian scourge,” click on ASK KUSHIBO and just ask a succinct question in the comments section below.

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九十五大怪獣란? 쿠시보의 몬스터 아일랜드란?

Pearls of witticism from 'Bo the Blogger: Kushibo's Korea blog... Kushibo-e Kibun...
Now with Less kimchi, more nunchi. Random thoughts and commentary (and indiscernibly opaque humor) about selected social, political, economic, and health-related issues of the day affecting "foreans" ("foreigners" in Korea be they kyopo or non-kyopo), Koreans, Korea and East Asia, along with the US, especially Hawaii, Orange County, and the rest of California, plus anything else that is deemed worthy of discussion. Forza Corea!

* Monster Island (actually a peninsula)

The name of this blog comes from a line in "Lisa on Ice," a beloved episode of The Simpsons, perhaps my all-time favorite television show (even though for several seasons there, it really did suck). Lisa is imagining being sworn in as president, but at the last minute, it is discovered that she failed P.E. (physical education) and she is thus "sentenced to a lifetime of horror" on Monster Island. "Don't worry," the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court confides in her, "It's just a name."

Fast forward to Lisa and other prisoners running in panic through a tropical jungle, chased by Godzilla-like creatures, including a monster turtle and a monster firefly.

"He said it was just a name!" Lisa screams to the man next to her. While he, too, runs for his life, the unidentified man calmly says, "What he meant is that Monster Island is actually a peninsula."

Anyway, I thought in some ways that punchline summed up modern-day Korea in a nutshell. For many people—foreigners and Koreans—the ups and downs and everyday travails of the Republic of Korea make it as precarious as a Monster Island would be (and with the DMZ being the only land border, it really is like an island). But it actually is a peninsula. Okay, it made sense in my head.

So as you can see, despite the hits I get from people looking for Japanese tentacle porn, it has nothing to do with anything salacious as that.