Dear Leader to be dead leader by 2013

I hope I never become so evil that people speculating on my impending death becomes global news. Really, if I'm ever that evil, just shoot me*.

But that's what happens with Kim Jong-il, whose myriad potential health problems are frequent fodder for Pyongyang watchers. From AP:

Assistant U.S. Secretary of State Kurt Campbell told U.S. Ambassador Kathleen Stephens, a South Korean lawmaker and activists in a closed-door session that he doubted the 68-year-old leader would live beyond 2013, South Korea's Chosun Ilbo newspaper said.

Campbell based his estimate on medical information, the report said, citing unidentified sources.

U.S. Embassy spokesman Aaron Tarver said he had no details. Park Sun-young, an opposition lawmaker who attended the Feb. 3 meeting, said Wednesday that she had no comment.

A state-run South Korean think tank, the Korea Institute for National Unification, also said in a January report that Kim Jong Il probably wouldn't survive past 2012. It cited no specific evidence for the estimate.

[above: Why... won't... you... just... die already?!]

Sounds like we need to break out the Kim Jong-il death pool (Hey! Carter's in town!). I still think the guy's going to be around for longer than we care to imagine. See, wishful thinking isn't really much of a poison.

* You'd probably better not really shoot me. I'm evil, see, and that means I would probably have my people hunt down you and your people and rip out everyone's fingernails before they do horrible things to your disfigured shell of a body and then kill you. Or I'll just come back from the grave to do it myself. Don't mess with evil Kushibo.