[above: Park Jaebum is not gay. If you think that lipstick and make-up is gay, then ur gay! And he's also not taking steroids. Those veins coming out of his arms are because of... well, it's not because of steriods.]Here's a bit of advice for people trying to become famous: Don't write things that will bite you in the ass later on. And especially, don't write them on a social networking site such as MySpace, Facebook, Cyworld, etc., etc.
Most public service announcements like this are for ex post facto purposes (Latin for locking the barn after the horse has escaped), like the AFKN spot about not shaking vending machines to get your *&$%# change out because they might fall on you: Somebody did in fact try to tilt one a bit to the side and, well, you can guess the rest. (true story, I think)
And this public service announcement about not saying things like "Korea is gay! I hate Koreans," in such a public forum as MySpace is brought to you courtesy of Park Jaebum, the lead for Park Jinyoung's boy band 2PM.
You see, about four years ago, when he was trying to make it in the Korean entertainment scene, he was having problems. And so he lashed out. At a whole country.
“Korea is gay. I hate Koreans.”
He has since apologized, but a lot of people aren't having it and he's losing gigs he was forced to quit. (There are only seven members in the band... who saw that coming?) The people he dissed are disgusted that a guy who despises them and their country so much just came over to do a buck make a buck. A lot of bucks, apparently.
But why wouldn’t they want to forgive him? Seriously, what is up with South Koreans and their narcissistic tendencies, where everyone has to love them and nobody must hate them and they don't like the people who do hate them?
So the guy hates you and thinks your country is gay, is that any reason to stop buying his records and making him famous and setting him up in a lavish lifestyle while you live in a windowless koshiwon? What the fu¢k does that say about you, you narcissistic fu¢kwads?!
South Koreans should be all about the love, because with cultural icons like Cho Seunghui and June Kyoko Lu, they sure as hell hate you. Moon Bloodgood is American, bitches!
You need to learn to love unconditionally and embrace all, even those English teachers who come here, get drunk in public and start screaming about the piercings in their nether regions and how much they love a particular sex act, followed by grinding up against a large wooden pillar while simultaneously slapping it with the palm of her hand and faking an orgasm.
Why don't you accept the whiney expats who show you how enlightened they are by subjecting you to an hour-long bitchfest about what the hell is wrong with your country whenever you meet them?
Instead of detesting them, you should love them with all your heart. Can't you see? They're reaching out for love. Especially the one doing the grinding against the pillar. She really needs love.
But instead you show your hate for them. You show you despise them by telling them that they've misinterpreted this or that or that or by reminding them that not every person in Korea is "a douchebag" like their boss or that taxi driver who berated them for sloppily making out with their s.o. of the week in the back seat of his vehicle when coming home from clubbing at 2 a.m.
What's wrong with you, South Korea? No wonder Park Jaebum hates you.
There's no hope for you. Your wicked ways will soon be all over the Interwebs.
[above: Until the late 1980s, the Interwebs was actually made up of aluminum-tubes.]
Seriously, though, while it was incredibly stupid for Park Jaebum to write that in a public forum if he was trying to be a public figure (e.g., an entertainer), let’s chalk it up to youthful indiscretion (the catch-all phrase for anything that happened last year or earlier). I sincerely hope Park Jin-young stands up for the guy.
And to be honest, I hate the way that people go and try to dig up dirt on other people, and especially the way they go after celebrities, as if their private lives are fair game. I said as much here, even about someone whose public persona I quite despise.
Oh, and Jae, drop the homophobic bluster. It's trite and offensive.
Well, he was, what, 17 when he wrote that? Doesn't excuse him for being an idiot, but it's safe to say 94% of people are idiots at 17.
ReplyDeleteThe lessons to be learned are:
1) Don't use myspace, it's crap.
2) Delete the crap about you on the internet that's no longer timely. Sure, he's an idiot---then again, so are the netizens who care so much---but I guess that's what you get for leaving a myspace page up for 4 years.
God, I remember myspace. What a piece of crap.
I guess it means something that he was only 17, but it was still a pretty dumb thing to say, and I'm not so certain that it doesn't reveal a bit of his own actual beliefs.
ReplyDeleteThough I think he should be given another chance, I have a low tolerance level for people who despise the people off of whom they make their living, whether it's Korean shopkeepers in predominantly Black neighborhoods who feel contempt for Blacks (which is some, not all, of them), English teachers or businesspeople (and I'm directing this at The Marmot's Hole commentariat) who earn a living in Korea but have nothing but nasty things to say about Korean, or at least Koreans of one gender or the other, or kyopo who "come back" to the Motherland to try to make it big because they don't have much of a chance to hip-hop their way to stardom in the US or Canada.
But yeah, your "lessons to be learned" are right on the money.
First: your sarcasm was headed toward some of the best satire I've seen you write before you leaned a little too hard on the ugliest English teacher stereotypes... in the end, it came off more like an attempt to "show those English teachers" rather than making your point with wit and irony. Satire takes a light touch, but this comes off as bitter, especially because English teachers weren't connected to the original story in any way... you could have pulled in a few other demographics to keep the focus on the hypocrisy of "why don't they love me when I trash them" instead of being another chance to take shots at teachers.
ReplyDeleteFor the first half of the post, I was seriously ready to praise your satire, and maybe link the post at Roboseyo, and then...
sincerely: presumptuous writing coach rob.
secondly:
the google ad reads:
"Did your parents adopt a Chinese baby who later turned out to be a total hottie? Learn how to legally end sibling relationships and avoid prosecution for incest! Click here to end your shame now!"
thirdly:
yeah, brian's right. as one commenter once wrote: you own everything you ever say on the internet, forever. every person should be taught that before they sit down to their first comment board. I remain torn whether a four year old comment made into a mountain is more ridiculous than a couple pull-quotes from the german misuda panelist... but especially these days, people should realize who they're dealing with, when it comes to Korean netizens ready to dig stuff up, and unwilling to forgive.
netizens actually posted a poll demanding he kil himself which i thought was revolting. But he's quit the group now so i guess they got their wish - sort of.
ReplyDeletei feel bad for the guy even though what he said was dumb, but even being with Koreans abroad can be confusing and frustrating let alone in Korea itself!
Dear presumptuous writing coach rob,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comments on the quality of the satire, and thanks for staying civil even if you thought I was going overboard bashing English teachers.
I value your thoughts and comments, as well as Brian's, and I'm sorry if it seemed to you that maybe I was trying to "show those English teachers" or "take shots at teachers."
The "leaning on the ugliest English teacher stereotypes," I am guessing, comes from the description that follows "even the English teachers who come here":
get drunk in public and start screaming about the piercings in their nether regions and how much they love a particular sex act, followed by grinding up against a large wooden pillar while simultaneously slapping it with the palm of her hand and faking an orgasm.
Okay, this is where I try to explain where that came from and why it was there as it is, and see if you find that acceptable. If you follow the "English teachers" link, it leads to a description of a specific English teacher who supposedly did all that crap (and more). I meant to be poking a little fun at the disgruntled English teacher (which is not every teacher), not all English teachers.
If I changed it to "... even those English teachers who come here, ..." would that make it clearer I'm not bashing the whole lot?
Truthfully, I care a lot about the English-teaching community and count many friends (and a few ex-girlfriends) among them.
I tried to touch on various archetypes in the K-blogs who come across as "hatahs," which is why I later referred to the more general "whiney expats" (again, it's not all expats) to go along with the disgruntled kyopo meme. If I'd had more time (my friend was pushing me to head out the door to take her to Kahala Mall to get an iPhone bali), I would have tried harder to find an example of a non-English-teaching expat to skewer.
Roboseyo also wrote:
ReplyDeletethe google ad reads:
"Did your parents adopt a Chinese baby who later turned out to be a total hottie? Learn how to legally end sibling relationships and avoid prosecution for incest! Click here to end your shame now!"
That is a joke ad I made long ago poking fun at the oft-sighted ad seen at The Marmot's Hole for interracial lovin' that includes a reasonably attractive female and a Drew Carey-looking White guy. I tried to go for the most disturbing message my sick mind could muster that might plausibly look like it matched the ad.
And disturbing as that message was, it's equally disturbing that nobody has brought it up until now.
And finally, Roboseyo wrote:
ReplyDeletethe google ad reads:
" I remain torn whether a four year old comment made into a mountain is more ridiculous than a couple pull-quotes from the german misuda panelist... but especially these days, people should realize who they're dealing with, when it comes to Korean netizens ready to dig stuff up, and unwilling to forgive.
Well, I agree with you that it is ridiculous, and when I got serious toward the bottom of this post, I came to a similar conclusion.
But let's not kid ourselves that this phenomenon is limited to Korea (or China). One might argue that the "the "macaca incident" is reasonable, but should Obama's "green czar" be forced to quit because before he joined the Obama administration he called the Republicans "asshole" and he signed a petition suggesting a 9/11 conspiracy?
Gotcha media is alive and well, in the US of A, unfortunately, and it is fueled largely by Internet-generated outrage (and ignited by Internet searches).
But, I would say that South Korean government and organizations are too sensitive to Netizen opinion, especially when it may be a very small number of people behind it.
idoru, I totally agree with you that the calls for him to kill himself go way over the line. Suicide is far too rampant in South Korean society and there have already been celebrity suicides in part because of the netizenry, so this is all the more loathsome.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if they would, but I would love to see the government go after some of the people who said that (I think egging people to commit suicide is illegal in South Korea, but I'm not sure).
Being an anti-fan and stunts like this have been on the rise, sad to say. I think the line was crossed a long time ago - Choi Jin shil, Yunho's glue poisoning, faked sex pictures of new stars - if anyone things the kpop world is pop-fluffy and Wonder-Girl cute then they know nothing!
ReplyDeleteThe first half was some of the best writing you've done. As a loyal fan, I was digging it. I was really hoping you would give this story a writeup because I was interested in your take on the subject.
ReplyDeleteIt's too bad you ruined it by going out of your way to mention English teachers. I don't see fans calling for English teachers to kill themselves after a bad lesson. I also don't think that the actual discrimminatory policies of the Korean government and complaints against them are the same as the complaints of a fan base on this K-pop bozo. Live and learn, I guess.
For someone who constantly claims that he doesn't hate English teachers, you sure seem to take great glee in going out of your way to write about the worst of the worst.
어쩌라고 넌 우리보다 더 못한 거 있냐?
ReplyDelete북한추종자얔ㅋ ㅗㅗ엿이나 처먹어