Monster Island (actually a peninsula)*

Pearls of witticism from 'Bo the Blogger: Kushibo's Korea blog... Kushibo-e Kibun... Now with Less kimchi, more nunchi. Random thoughts and commentary (and indiscernibly opaque humor) about selected social, political, economic, and health-related issues of the day affecting "foreans," Koreans, Korea and East Asia, along with the US, especially Hawaii, Orange County and the rest of California, plus anything else that is deemed worthy of discussion. Forza Corea!

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Nice, aßßhole.

So I'm at the big Safeway on Kapahulu, stocking up on food for the finals crunch, and I buy myself a baguette (something I totally got used to doing in Korea) and I left my cart for a few moments to look for a frozen dinner, it being 10:30 p.m. and the dorm kitchen closing at 11 and all.

So I come back and my cart is gone. I hate things like this because I fear my inability to find things I knew I had left right there is a sure sign of EOGXD (Early Onset Gen-Xer Dementia, all the rage these days).

After I spend a few futile minutes looking for the dang thing, I give up and head back outside for a new cart (almost forgetting that I'm carrying an unpaid-for frozen dinner in my hand — damn EOGXD!), go back in and find a new baguette, and go on with my shopping.

As I go down one of the aisles, this is what I find:

That's right: some a-hole went up to my cart, took my food out, then made off with my cart, leaving me to go back out and get my own. Aßßhole!

What the hell is wrong with people? If only I knew the ethnicity of the culprit so I could make a disparaging generalization — probably totally valid — about their co-ethnics.

Come to think of it, if this is the worst thing I have to complain about right now, life can't be all that bad.

And if this post doesn't get me booted off the Marmot's Hole right-column blog feed, nothing will. Be sure to read the one about the Japan Times revision on Tokto.

Sent from my iPhone

4 comments:

SUPER EAGLESunday, May 10, 2009 12:10:00 AM
ethnics out of safeway
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kushiboSunday, May 10, 2009 4:03:00 AM
The preferred phrasing would be, "Hey, you ethnics! Get off my lawn...dry soap aisle!"
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AnonymousMonday, May 11, 2009 10:01:00 AM
Um why did you leave your cart unattended?

Never I repeat never leave your cart unattended.

It's a grocery store, man. Survival of the fittest. lol
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kushiboMonday, May 11, 2009 10:22:00 AM
It wasn't exactly unattended. I was probably no more than fifteen or twenty feet from it, but it was around the corner.

I'm one of those courteous shoppers who avoids parking my cart in crowded aisles so that other people can't get by.

Anyhoo, Hawaii is supposed to be all about the Aloha spirit. That's clearly a load of crap (driving in Honolulu has already proven that to me).
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That got me thinking that, hey, I have a master’s degree in Korean studies and a minor in Japanese studies, I’ve lived in Seoul far longer than most foreans my age (whether they're kyopo or non-kyopo), I teach introductory courses on Korea and its cultural trappings and history, so why not offer a free service where I attempt to answer people’s questions, point them in the direction of where they can get them answered, and/or offer my regulars (that’s you!) a chance to take a stab at some of this stuff, too.

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九十五大怪獣란? 쿠시보의 몬스터 아일랜드란?

Pearls of witticism from 'Bo the Blogger: Kushibo's Korea blog... Kushibo-e Kibun...
Now with Less kimchi, more nunchi. Random thoughts and commentary (and indiscernibly opaque humor) about selected social, political, economic, and health-related issues of the day affecting "foreans" ("foreigners" in Korea be they kyopo or non-kyopo), Koreans, Korea and East Asia, along with the US, especially Hawaii, Orange County, and the rest of California, plus anything else that is deemed worthy of discussion. Forza Corea!

* Monster Island (actually a peninsula)

The name of this blog comes from a line in "Lisa on Ice," a beloved episode of The Simpsons, perhaps my all-time favorite television show (even though for several seasons there, it really did suck). Lisa is imagining being sworn in as president, but at the last minute, it is discovered that she failed P.E. (physical education) and she is thus "sentenced to a lifetime of horror" on Monster Island. "Don't worry," the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court confides in her, "It's just a name."

Fast forward to Lisa and other prisoners running in panic through a tropical jungle, chased by Godzilla-like creatures, including a monster turtle and a monster firefly.

"He said it was just a name!" Lisa screams to the man next to her. While he, too, runs for his life, the unidentified man calmly says, "What he meant is that Monster Island is actually a peninsula."

Anyway, I thought in some ways that punchline summed up modern-day Korea in a nutshell. For many people—foreigners and Koreans—the ups and downs and everyday travails of the Republic of Korea make it as precarious as a Monster Island would be (and with the DMZ being the only land border, it really is like an island). But it actually is a peninsula. Okay, it made sense in my head.

So as you can see, despite the hits I get from people looking for Japanese tentacle porn, it has nothing to do with anything salacious as that.