A sociologist at my alma mater (UCI) has analyzed the stated preferences at Yahoo! Personals to analyze who dates whom: specifically, what races date what races. Her conclusion:Among daters with stated racial preferences, White men are more likely to exclude Blacks as possible dates, While white women are more likely to exclude Asians.Though her interest is more related to "full social incorporation" that may be precluded by racial exclusion, she does delve into speculation about why certain groups tend to favor one type and reject another:
Stereotypical images of masculinity and femininity shape dating choices and continue to be perpetuated in the mass media. The hyper-feminine image of Asian American women contrasts greatly with that of Asian men, who are often portrayed as asexual.Asexual Asian men? We need more Korean tough guys on TV! Calling CBI Agent Kimball Cho!
(I could also have gone with this retort: "Contrast? The media portrays both Asian women and Asian men as hyper-feminine." But that would have been too incendiary.)Just so we're clear, though: There's no such thing as "yellow fever" or "Asian fetish." And Asian men who say otherwise — especially if they're Korean — are just whiny. And Professor Feliciano, who is neither Asian (presumably) nor a man (again, presumably), is nothing more than an enabler. VANK probably paid her to do the study.
Of course, this study should come as quite a surprise to the K-blog commentariat, who insist it is the Koreans who are xenophobic racists when it comes to dating and marriage, not the Americans. Not post-racial Obama-voting Americans who have embraced interracial dating long ago.
No, it's the Koreans, with their 1 in 8 "international marriages" that is just an elaborate smoke screen providing cover for their deep and wide racial animosity. Insrutable bastards!Really, the thing to do is to turn Asian men on to the virtues of African-American women, who actually make more money than White women (well, if they're from the UK), if you go in for that kind of thing. The only African-American I ever dated seriously (who was actually born in Africa, in fact) was very virtuous.
(I could also have gone with this retort: "Contrast? The media portrays both Asian women and Asian men as 'hyper-feminine.'" But that would have been too incendiary.)actually, that is a much better retort.
ReplyDeleteKushibo writes: "No, it's the Koreans, with their 1 in 8 "international marriages" that is just an elaborate smoke screen providing cover for their deep and wide racial animosity. Insrutable bastards!"
ReplyDeleteI challenge this point. Simply because 1 in 8 marriages are to someone from another country does not lesson their xenophobia.
We have basically two major classifications of these international marriages:
1. Korean women marrying white men. These women are every woman that I have ever dated. They all say the same thing, "I don't like Korean men." They would never consider marrying a Korean man. Such a woman has a very good chance of finding a white guy. And you cannot dispute the fact that she will be more of an equal in the relationship, feel loved, and not treated like a baby making housemaid/wife.
2. Korean men from the provinces who have little chance to marry due to class and being poor. Throw in Korean guys buying Russian wives into this group.
Kevin Thurston wrote:
ReplyDeleteactually, that is a much better retort.
Yeah, but I had a picture for the first one.
nb wrote:
ReplyDeleteI challenge this point. Simply because 1 in 8 marriages are to someone from another country does not lesson their xenophobia.
In and of itself, maybe not. But the rapidly growing acceptance itself is an indication of a sea change in Korean society, your description of who gets married to non-Koreans notwithstanding.
I was going to cite this 2006 Marmot's Hole post showing that over half of all men and women in Korea were "positive" about marrying foreigners.
1. Korean women marrying white men. These women are every woman that I have ever dated. They all say the same thing, "I don't like Korean men." They would never consider marrying a Korean man. Such a woman has a very good chance of finding a white guy.
While there certainly is that type, there are in those statistics a lot of Korean women who happened to fall for someone who wasn't Korean.
And you cannot dispute the fact that she will be more of an equal in the relationship, feel loved, and not treated like a baby making housemaid/wife.Yes, I can. While I know plenty of unequal Korean-Korean marriages, I know plenty that are fairly egalitarian. And I also know more than a fair share of Korean-Caucasian marriages that are unequal to the point of being abusive.
I wouldn't stereotype or generalize either way.
2. Korean men from the provinces who have little chance to marry due to class and being poor. Throw in Korean guys buying Russian wives into this group.
Even if I were to characterize most or all of the rural marriages as starting from financial concerns on both sides, (a) I know from first-hand experience that the result is by no means always some miserable situation for the woman involved. I also know a lot of White Canadian, American, Australian, or European women who are married to Korean men and reasonably happy.
Irrespective of that, the fact remains that in this country where national identity was once tied to alleged "racial purity," that notion has been abandoned wholesale by most of the general public, including those who do not themselves marry non-Koreans.
i wish i could go out with a black girl. just sayin'
ReplyDeleteI just want to put in my biased 2-cents on some of these posts. Of course Korean women who date or marry white men will say "I don't like Korean men". Because that is their preference. But I hope nobody is making any assumptions here that most Korean women think that way. In fact, ask around, most Korean women prefer ONLY Korean men. And again...my very biased 2 cents, I noticed the ones who reject Korean men outright may have been rejected themselves by Korean men or society/culture in some way (either culturally due to language, understanding, appearances,etc).
ReplyDeleteBut I would like to say from my own experiences (and I used to be such an internet dating slut myself) that this UCI Professor's findings are an accurate "generalization" as most (not ALL) white women DO NOT want to date Asian men as I see these in their ads (ie- "No Asians, please"). And yes, white men do tend to go after Asian women, partly because of the way the media has played these images out over the past few decades (I also hear the way white guys talk about Asian women and it's usually about something sexual). I took a course at another Univ of CA campus about Asian American images in the media and this is the dead-on consensus, that Asian men have never been portrayed favorably in TV, movies, literature. Look what happened to the image of black men after the '80s? It really took off after many positive roles and more white women are going after black men in recent years. You would never have seen this in the pre-'50s eras. Asian men are potrayed as "asexual" because when is the last time you saw a leading Asian actor (if there was one in an international film) "get the girl" or sleep with the white or black actress co-star?