Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water (ah, who are we kidding? It was never safe to go in the water)

South Korea has its fair share of loan sharks, but did you know that sharks originally come from the ocean? If you didn't, then a visit to an East Coast beach might drive that lesson home. 

Though South Korea has only six reported cases of shark attack over the past thirty years (some suspect more), there may be an increase, as global warming causes the waters of the East Sea (Sea of Japan) and East China Sea off the southern coast to warm up a bit, attracting great white sharks. The kind from "Jaws." 

The shark at left was caught in the waters off Tonghae, on the east coast. This 1.5-ton shark is 4.7 meters long, which makes it bigger than my dorm room. 

And while that sounds like a whole lot of delicious dinners, it means someone needs to head over to Korea and start teaching swimmers the Vulcan nerve pinch. In the meantime, I do love the advice the police give. Courtesy of the Korea Times:

Police alerted fishermen against going into the sea alone and never to get into the sea if one has recent flesh wounds.

The maritime institute gave people some tips to keep them safe from attack. Among them are not wearing bright clothing, not to try to kill one by throwing harpoons or other weapons, and staying calm and trying to swim to shore as carefully as possible. It also advised against swimming at night and in the event of an attack, to strike the shark's nose or eyes hard.

Instead of catching rapists or preventing thefts, it's pretty clear that the police have been spending their days watching shark-themed movies on OCN. 

You know, a lot of shark attacks could be prevented if South Koreans were allowed to carry guns. Just sayin', is all.