No, you canNOT has cheezburger, you illiterate f&*%$ing feline!

Nope. You can't. Too expensive. 

McDonald's is bringing to an end the $1 double cheeseburger that was a staple of college students and the poor. Rising energy costs have forced them to raise the cost to $1.19. 

$1

It looks so clean and neat—not to mention affordable. Sure, $1.19 isn't that much more, but it just doesn't have that tidy look of "$1." Well, at least two McD's apple pies will have a price that's, ahem, in apple-pie order. [That's right: For puns involving 18th century idioms that haven't been used since the Great War, Monster Island cannot be beat!]

Frankly, although I've gone in for a double cheeseburger more times than I care to admit (with their $1 parfait and $1 three-cookie deal), there is something inherently misplaced or misguided about a one-dollar double cheeseburger. 

Simply put, we as Americans not only consume too much meat, but we also manufacture too much of it. Factory farming lots of cows in small areas, requiring copious amounts of feed, antibiotics, and hormones. Not good for the body and not good for the environment. 

In other words, a $1 double cheeseburger falls far short of its true costs—the social and environmental costs for starters. Maybe, then, a $1.19 cheeseburger, while it doesn't roll off the tongue, is a teeny tiny step in the right direction. 

Already the Filet-o-Fish (my favorite McD's item when I was a kid) is starting to reflect the truer cost of fish stock depletion. In Korea they've taken it off the menu altogether. 

I wonder if Mickey D's in Korea is still serving W1000 double cheeses? 

Oh, and I promise never ever ever to mention the lolcats site again. Never ever. 

The digestive tract of cats is different from humans', which means that feeding them people cheese—especially in the high amount found in a cheeseburger—can cause a plethora of problems ranging from painful symptoms associated with lactose intolerance to the dangers associated with high salt or fat in the diet. Why supposed cat lovers are making light of the plight of cheese-fed cats is beyond me. Sick bastards!

For the hopelessly bored, click here for more posts about McDonald's.