Rant and/or Diatribe #37

During a discussion with a Croatian friend here at H 대학교, I warned my Balkan buddy that Croatia may want to start shaking in its boots as Russia starts looking to shore up its once mighty empire. They are angry at the Croats (and the Bosnians, the Montenegrins, the Slovenians, and the Macedonians) for rejecting the benevolent hegemony of the Russian Bear. 

That was fifty years ago, he said.

No, I explained. I mean in the early 1990s when you went independent, splitting yourselves off from the Moscow's Slavic allies in Yugoslavia.

But we're Slavs, too, he said.

But you're not Orthodox Slavs. You went Catholic centuries ago, and it's soon going to be time for payback for slapping down the benevolent paw of the Russian Bear. 

We also talked about how Vladivostok used to be a Korean village. Maybe Korea should be careful too. Or maybe Korea should be looking to take back Vladivostok, the way a bear's gall bladder is excised and gobbled down. 

Ah, but this won't happen. Every one is afraid of Russia. Everyone is afraid of Russia cutting off energy supplies. 

It's high time we start focusing on alternative energy sources (not alternative sources of oil) so we won't have to rely on evil nations like Russia, Saudi Arabia, or Canada.

That's right: I said Canada. Nefarious Cannucks trying to push their socialized medicine. It's no wonder they try so hard to place Canadian actors in Hollywood. It's systemic brainwashing.