Pearls of witticism from 'Bo the Blogger: Kushibo's Korea blog... Kushibo-e Kibun...
Now with Less kimchi, more nunchi. Random thoughts and commentary (and indiscernibly opaque humor) about selected social, political, economic, and health-related issues of the day affecting "foreans," Koreans, Korea and East Asia, along with the US, especially Hawaii, Orange County and the rest of California, plus anything else that is deemed worthy of discussion. Forza Corea!
This opaquely presented post is my attempt at taking the high road in an on-line feud that I don't care to have flare into a full-blown battle, while also giving myself a chance to answer my critics.
The relevant posts are presented below in the next comment, which is followed by my response.
In this post, which I mostly agreed with, Jodi wrote:
Is this the start of an unhealthy mother-son relationship and why was this woman talking about it without any shame, as if it were natural to do and I was foolish for asking my question?
I swear. Seriously. Some people really shouldn't be allowed to reproduce.
Is this the start of an unhealthy mother-son relationship and why was this woman talking about it without any shame, as if it were natural to do and I was foolish for asking my question?
Two things: first, should she really feel "shame" because she doesn't do things the way they do now in your home town 8000 miles away (and trust me, not long ago many Minnesotans weren't all that different in terms of fathering-mothering roles—I remember as a kid my uncle, by marriage, had nothing to do with raising his eight kids other than bringing home a paycheck).
And second: I think you may be reading a bit too much into things if you're thinking you were made to feel "foolish" for asking.
I swear. Seriously. Some people really shouldn't be allowed to reproduce.
Well, this I agree with.
But I don't think stubborn adherence to traditional gender roles is necessary one of those reasons. If that were the case, how many of us would be around to blog?
I will say, though, kudos to my dad for breaking out of his gender roles and raising us when my mother went back into nursing. Every other day we were served broiled fish, and every other day between those we were served cooked hamburger patties on whole wheat bread. My father's idea of conversation was, "Go do your homework!" and "What did you get on your last test?"
It's not about being shameless for not doing something the same way it's done in my home state.
(Why you chose to drag that into your comment is beyond me and further more, why you chose your uncle as a representative of all Minnesotan families is another mystery I won't be losing sleep over.)
The comment was about seeing nothing wrong with the fact that her husband does not want to spend time with their newborn baby on one of his rare days off or that she doesn't trust him to spend time with their child alone.
That's all it is. You can call it a cultural thing if you want (notice how I went out of my way not to do that) or you can call it a sad fact about human beings and this family in particular.
And yes, if this is how she is going to raise her son from now on, then it very much is an unhealthy start to family dynamics.
For someone who accuses me of reading too much into things (especially since you weren't there to witness it), you certainly are very good at doing that yourself--and inappropriately so.
Do you ever get tired of believe that everyone else misinterprets everything or reads too much into things and that you are the only source of enlightenment, judgment, and proper interpretation of all things Korean. Do have any idea how insipid, asinine, vacuous, and inane your comments are? Does being and offensive, condescending jerk come naturally to you or do you have to work at it? Try being a little less inappropriate in your comments.
Stop pitying Korean babies and their parents! This type of expat condescention does not do anyone any good. Especially in the area of raising children.
Being childless yourself gives you the urge but not the right to question those who have children in any nation. Learn to reserve judgement and apply it your observations in your future role as a mother to be.
To assume on your part that just because the father had the day off he should be at home with the newborn is rather childish as well as ignorant in and of itself. Your point about "first memories" is invalid due to the fact that babies can only begin to retain memory once they reach the age of 2-3 years.
No one is "mature" enough to take care of their children. Raising children successfully is the most difficult thing to do. This is the reason why we have developed things like day care to offset the stresses associated with being a working parent.
There is a reason you felt foolish for asking such a dumb question. You have no credibility on the subject. Learn better to think before asking and you will feel better about yourself for not putting your foot in your mouth.
As for the mother acting "natural" about her opinion that her husband is unable to care for the child. Let it go. This is none of your business as an unmarried childless woman. There is nothing wrong with playing golf while the wife is as work and your newborn is being cared for at a proper daycare facility.
Kushibo,
Well said and daring I might add. Many of the blog entries on this site begin with very personal observations on the part of the author/editor Jodi and sometimes she will limit rebuttals to things other than what only a personal one suffice. This is quite obvious time and time again.
Jeff H,
Your effort to counter Kbo's rebuttal falls as flat as the adjectives you chose to use to describe his points. You provided none of your own opinion and offered nothing to further the dialogue constructively, which is what I thought this blog was about.
Oh...and I like your motorcycle tips. Well written.
Being childless yourself gives you the urge but not the right to question those who have children in any nation. Learn to reserve judgement and apply it your observations in your future role as a mother to be. . . This is none of your business as an unmarried childless woman.
That’s complete bullsh!t. If you buy the ‘you-can’t-judge-about-this-if-you-haven’t-done-it’ line, you may as well eject your brain since you won’t be using it anymore.
I don’t know about the start of an unhealthy relationship, but it wasn’t a foolish question. If men in other countries can and do take care of the kids, why is it foolish to ask about this in Korea, especially with rapid social changes in the past decades? It’s not.
symbiont, Your effort to counter Kbo’s rebuttal falls as flat as the adjectives you chose to use to describe his points. You provided none of your own opinion and offered nothing to further the dialogue constructively, which is what I thought this blog was about.
I wasn’t rebutting his points. I was commenting about him personally. His comments on this blog are predictable. Jodi talks about a conversation she had, Kushibo says she misunderstood or is reading too much into it. Jodi talks about a guy going into the navy, and kushibo talks about her having a uniform fetish. Jodi talks about an experience she had, and kushibo tells her that her experience is invalid. Jodi talks about one of her female friends, and Kushibo talks about how attractive she is.
He doesn’t say, “Jodi, here is why I disagree with you…” and then give his views. He first tears her down, discredits her observations and experiences, discounts her world-view, refuses to validate the fact that she is entitled to her opinion, and then talks about how he is so much better and englightened than she is becuase he sees things the right way.
I stand by the adjectives I used to describe his posts. I think his posts are quite often inappropriate, offensive, and demeaning. It it tiresome to see it happen again and again and again.
So, my critcism (constructive or otherwise) is directed at him and not at the content of his posts.
Kushibo and Symbiont, you are free to disagree with me but unless the post is about me (which this one was not), your personal criticisms regarding my character will not be tolerated and if you absolutely feel the urge to criticize me, please adopt a more respectful tone.
First Kushibo, your personal lectures about how I am obviously always wrong, misinformed or constantly misinterpreting things are getting on my nerves. If you have such a hard time believing the things I say or write about, then don’t visit this site.
Since you are never there to experience these things yourself, you are hardly in a position to question my comprehension of the matter. I’m not an idiot. Your assumption that I am is insulting.
I have snipped the rest of Jodi's comment, which was addressed to Symbiont. More to come in the next comments
Okay, so far we have me making a point about the post, Jeff Harrison responding with what appear to be personal attacks, and Jodi accusing me of personal criticisms regarding her character, disrespecting her, and insulting her.
To be fair, I should have worded my opening sentence differently. Instead of saying, "I liked this post up until this," I should have said I agreed with the post (I really did) except for those two points.
So indeed, it may have been my fault for setting the tone. That's why I decided to let Jodi (and Jeff?!) have the last word, twice each.
But alas, it was not to be, since despite my absence, Jeff Harrison decided, as if obsessed at defending Jodi from me, to carry this over to another post (see next comment).
In these parts at least, the latest Korean-American sports celebrity
I agreed with you right up to that point.
We both make lots of mistakes and our pronunciation is identical, he claimed over and over again.
Jodi, I don’t think you understood what he was saying. He wasn’t saying. You may not understand it, but sometimes Koreans say the opposite of what they mean. So, he was actually saying that your Korean is perfect and your pronunciation is totally different from hers.
Word spread around that a man of half Korean half Caucasian descent was going to come by and that he looked exactly like Daniel Henny. He was also single.
I think you misunderstood what was being said, he couldn’t be a genetic clone of Henny so i’m sure they didn’t mean that he looked EXACTLY like Henny. You have talked about TV and actors a lot. I think you have an Actor fetish.
After he left, the grumbling began. Grumbling over how I was the only one introduced to him and then more grumbling because he didn’t look exactly like Daniel Henny. (Because you know, all those of mixed heritage look alike and don’t you forget it!)
Jodi, I think you are reading far too much into it. You don’t have the linguistic an cultural knowledged to understand the subtle nuances of what they were saying. You are simply projection your own thoughts and prejudices onto their behavior. It is probably you that was crushed because he didn’t look like Henny… What with your actor fetish and all.
Let’s just get that straight here. “Mi-shi-Wi” and Daniel Henny are their own individual selves as am I and as is the the man whom people expected to be a “Henny look-alike.”
You don’t undertand that Korea is not an individualist society. things happen in groups and are classified in groups here. I don’t know why you feel the “different” is necessarily better. My family drove through Minnesota once and there were a lot of different people… Some of them were bad. So, why should you expect Korean to be like your hometown and have everyone be different…blah blah blah
I dunno Jeff H., saying “You have talked about TV and actors a lot. I think you have an Actor fetish” seems harsh to me. Fetishes seem more like obsessions than just talking about a topic a lot. Also, intrinsically, fetishes seem more deeply sexual to me.
I know. As H.Kim pointed out, that entire comment of mine was completely facetious.
I had some free time during lunch and thought I would save Kushibo some time and write a reply for him.
If you still don’t know what I’m talking about read the comments made by Kushibo and others in THIS THREAD.
For the fetish comment, read Kushibo’s inappropriate comment in THIS THREAD
So there you have it. If I find the time, I'll respond to this later, since a lot of it is based on nonsense and personal attacks. Why Jeff Harrison has such an obsession with me posting at AsiaPages, I'm also not really sure.
This opaquely presented post is my attempt at taking the high road in an on-line feud that I don't care to have flare into a full-blown battle, while also giving myself a chance to answer my critics.
ReplyDeleteThe relevant posts are presented below in the next comment, which is followed by my response.
In this post, which I mostly agreed with, Jodi wrote:
ReplyDeleteIs this the start of an unhealthy mother-son relationship and why was this woman talking about it without any shame, as if it were natural to do and I was foolish for asking my question?
I swear. Seriously. Some people really shouldn't be allowed to reproduce.
I then wrote:
I liked this post up until this:
Is this the start of an unhealthy mother-son relationship and why was this woman talking about it without any shame, as if it were natural to do and I was foolish for asking my question?
Two things: first, should she really feel "shame" because she doesn't do things the way they do now in your home town 8000 miles away (and trust me, not long ago many Minnesotans weren't all that different in terms of fathering-mothering roles—I remember as a kid my uncle, by marriage, had nothing to do with raising his eight kids other than bringing home a paycheck).
And second: I think you may be reading a bit too much into things if you're thinking you were made to feel "foolish" for asking.
I swear. Seriously. Some people really shouldn't be allowed to reproduce.
Well, this I agree with.
But I don't think stubborn adherence to traditional gender roles is necessary one of those reasons. If that were the case, how many of us would be around to blog?
I will say, though, kudos to my dad for breaking out of his gender roles and raising us when my mother went back into nursing. Every other day we were served broiled fish, and every other day between those we were served cooked hamburger patties on whole wheat bread. My father's idea of conversation was, "Go do your homework!" and "What did you get on your last test?"
Jodi responded:
Kushibo,
It's not about being shameless for not doing something the same way it's done in my home state.
(Why you chose to drag that into your comment is beyond me and further more, why you chose your uncle as a representative of all Minnesotan families is another mystery I won't be losing sleep over.)
The comment was about seeing nothing wrong with the fact that her husband does not want to spend time with their newborn baby on one of his rare days off or that she doesn't trust him to spend time with their child alone.
That's all it is. You can call it a cultural thing if you want (notice how I went out of my way not to do that) or you can call it a sad fact about human beings and this family in particular.
And yes, if this is how she is going to raise her son from now on, then it very much is an unhealthy start to family dynamics.
For someone who accuses me of reading too much into things (especially since you weren't there to witness it), you certainly are very good at doing that yourself--and inappropriately so.
Jeff Harrison wrote:
Kushibo,
Do you ever get tired of believe that everyone else misinterprets everything or reads too much into things and that you are the only source of enlightenment, judgment, and proper interpretation of all things Korean. Do have any idea how insipid, asinine, vacuous, and inane your comments are? Does being and offensive, condescending jerk come naturally to you or do you have to work at it? Try being a little less inappropriate in your comments.
Symbiont appeared to side with me, though to be honest I didn't completely agree with him/her:
Jodi,
A few suggestions to ease your
expatri-angst.
Stop pitying Korean babies and their parents! This type of expat condescention does not do anyone any good. Especially in the area of raising children.
Being childless yourself gives you the urge but not the right to question those who have children in any nation. Learn to reserve judgement and apply it your observations in your future role as a mother to be.
To assume on your part that just because the father had the day off he should be at home with the newborn is rather childish as well as ignorant in and of itself. Your point about "first memories" is invalid due to the fact that babies can only begin to retain memory once they reach the age of 2-3 years.
No one is "mature" enough to take care of their children. Raising children successfully is the most difficult thing to do. This is the reason why we have developed things like day care to offset the stresses associated with being a working parent.
There is a reason you felt foolish for asking such a dumb question. You have no credibility on the subject. Learn better to think before asking and you will feel better about yourself for not putting your foot in your mouth.
As for the mother acting "natural" about her opinion that her husband is unable to care for the child. Let it go. This is none of your business as an unmarried childless woman. There is nothing wrong with playing golf while the wife is as work and your newborn is being cared for at a proper daycare facility.
Kushibo,
Well said and daring I might add. Many of the blog entries on this site begin with very personal observations on the part of the author/editor Jodi and sometimes she will limit rebuttals to things other than what only a personal one suffice. This is quite obvious time and time again.
Jeff H,
Your effort to counter Kbo's rebuttal falls as flat as the adjectives you chose to use to describe his points. You provided none of your own opinion and offered nothing to further the dialogue constructively, which is what I thought this blog was about.
Oh...and I like your motorcycle tips. Well written.
Richardson, who makes a point of stating how much he disagrees with me, said something in response to Symbiont with which I mostly agreed:
Being childless yourself gives you the urge but not the right to question those who have children in any nation. Learn to reserve judgement and apply it your observations in your future role as a mother to be. . . This is none of your business as an unmarried childless woman.
That’s complete bullsh!t. If you buy the ‘you-can’t-judge-about-this-if-you-haven’t-done-it’ line, you may as well eject your brain since you won’t be using it anymore.
I don’t know about the start of an unhealthy relationship, but it wasn’t a foolish question. If men in other countries can and do take care of the kids, why is it foolish to ask about this in Korea, especially with rapid social changes in the past decades? It’s not.
Jeff Harrison used Symbiont's criticism to elaborate on his criticism of me, as well as continue to make the commentary personal:
symbiont,
Your effort to counter Kbo’s rebuttal falls as flat as the adjectives you chose to use to describe his points. You provided none of your own opinion and offered nothing to further the dialogue constructively, which is what I thought this blog was about.
I wasn’t rebutting his points. I was commenting about him personally. His comments on this blog are predictable. Jodi talks about a conversation she had, Kushibo says she misunderstood or is reading too much into it. Jodi talks about a guy going into the navy, and kushibo talks about her having a uniform fetish. Jodi talks about an experience she had, and kushibo tells her that her experience is invalid. Jodi talks about one of her female friends, and Kushibo talks about how attractive she is.
He doesn’t say, “Jodi, here is why I disagree with you…” and then give his views. He first tears her down, discredits her observations and experiences, discounts her world-view, refuses to validate the fact that she is entitled to her opinion, and then talks about how he is so much better and englightened than she is becuase he sees things the right way.
I stand by the adjectives I used to describe his posts. I think his posts are quite often inappropriate, offensive, and demeaning. It it tiresome to see it happen again and again and again.
So, my critcism (constructive or otherwise) is directed at him and not at the content of his posts.
Oh…and I like your motorcycle tips. Well written.
Thanks.
Jodi also took a chance to respond:
Kushibo and Symbiont, you are free to disagree with me but unless the post is about me (which this one was not), your personal criticisms regarding my character will not be tolerated and if you absolutely feel the urge to criticize me, please adopt a more respectful tone.
First Kushibo, your personal lectures about how I am obviously always wrong, misinformed or constantly misinterpreting things are getting on my nerves. If you have such a hard time believing the things I say or write about, then don’t visit this site.
Since you are never there to experience these things yourself, you are hardly in a position to question my comprehension of the matter. I’m not an idiot. Your assumption that I am is insulting.
I have snipped the rest of Jodi's comment, which was addressed to Symbiont. More to come in the next comments
Okay, so far we have me making a point about the post, Jeff Harrison responding with what appear to be personal attacks, and Jodi accusing me of personal criticisms regarding her character, disrespecting her, and insulting her.
ReplyDeleteTo be fair, I should have worded my opening sentence differently. Instead of saying, "I liked this post up until this," I should have said I agreed with the post (I really did) except for those two points.
So indeed, it may have been my fault for setting the tone. That's why I decided to let Jodi (and Jeff?!) have the last word, twice each.
But alas, it was not to be, since despite my absence, Jeff Harrison decided, as if obsessed at defending Jodi from me, to carry this over to another post (see next comment).
So I just decided to lay off the AsiaPages, for a while or even permanently. For the second time, in fact.
ReplyDeleteBut although I didn't participate in this thread, my name was evoked anyway.
Jeff Harrison decided to spoof me:
In these parts at least, the latest Korean-American sports celebrity
I agreed with you right up to that point.
We both make lots of mistakes and our pronunciation is identical, he claimed over and over again.
Jodi, I don’t think you understood what he was saying. He wasn’t saying. You may not understand it, but sometimes Koreans say the opposite of what they mean. So, he was actually saying that your Korean is perfect and your pronunciation is totally different from hers.
Word spread around that a man of half Korean half Caucasian descent was going to come by and that he looked exactly like Daniel Henny. He was also single.
I think you misunderstood what was being said, he couldn’t be a genetic clone of Henny so i’m sure they didn’t mean that he looked EXACTLY like Henny. You have talked about TV and actors a lot. I think you have an Actor fetish.
After he left, the grumbling began. Grumbling over how I was the only one introduced to him and then more grumbling because he didn’t look exactly like Daniel Henny. (Because you know, all those of mixed heritage look alike and don’t you forget it!)
Jodi, I think you are reading far too much into it. You don’t have the linguistic an cultural knowledged to understand the subtle nuances of what they were saying. You are simply projection your own thoughts and prejudices onto their behavior. It is probably you that was crushed because he didn’t look like Henny… What with your actor fetish and all.
Let’s just get that straight here. “Mi-shi-Wi” and Daniel Henny are their own individual selves as am I and as is the the man whom people expected to be a “Henny look-alike.”
You don’t undertand that Korea is not an individualist society. things happen in groups and are classified in groups here. I don’t know why you feel the “different” is necessarily better. My family drove through Minnesota once and there were a lot of different people… Some of them were bad. So, why should you expect Korean to be like your hometown and have everyone be different…blah blah blah
Becky thought Jeff Harrison was serious:
I dunno Jeff H., saying “You have talked about TV and actors a lot. I think you have an Actor fetish” seems harsh to me. Fetishes seem more like obsessions than just talking about a topic a lot. Also, intrinsically, fetishes seem more deeply sexual to me.
H Kim informed Becky Jeff Harrison was not serious:
Relax Becky — Jeff H. is just doing a parody of Kushibo, SNL style. Either that, or he’s channeling him. Pretty f*cking hilarious!
Jeff Harrison also clarified it:
Becky,
I know. As H.Kim pointed out, that entire comment of mine was completely facetious.
I had some free time during lunch and thought I would save Kushibo some time and write a reply for him.
If you still don’t know what I’m talking about read the comments made by Kushibo and others in THIS THREAD.
For the fetish comment, read Kushibo’s inappropriate comment in THIS THREAD
So there you have it. If I find the time, I'll respond to this later, since a lot of it is based on nonsense and personal attacks. Why Jeff Harrison has such an obsession with me posting at AsiaPages, I'm also not really sure.